Love is infinite. There are some many different ways to love and be loved, which enriches our life experience that it is my personal goal to experience as many as possible. What is not infinit is time. Time is by far the most complex aspect of polyamory that I have personally dealt with and managed. Time management is necessary part of our adult lives that is developed through practicing executive function skills throughout our lives. Some have excellent time managment skills, some need more practice and growth. In my current relationship arrangements, I am the master planner of various times and interactions. In my household, our lives revolve around products such as Google Calendar and Wunderlist. Another challenging aspect of time management is addressing "fair is not equal". For my household, we have children who take priority, which is completely fair (and expected). Because of this, our personal, individual time is not equal to the time each of spend with each individual child. It is the nature of our lives. In polyamory, it is necessary to reflect on what is fair and takes into consideration all aspects of each participant's lives. The time of one relationship should not impeed the time of another relationship nor should not be managed by the time of another relationship. There are, of course, some logistics that much be negotiated and managed, but when outside relationship becomes a part of the mix, time must be respected and considered. Time is a valuable resource, and the willingness of someone to share time with another can be a beautiful experience. Honor time, both within your personal life as well as that of others.
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AuthorDr. A began supporting and coaching relationship 5 years ago in Phoenix, Arizona. She had several years of experience servicing as a volunteer in the local alternative lifestyle communities addressing non-monogamy. Archives
June 2017
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